lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
They took my balls.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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