He uses pillows to masturbate.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize