I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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