At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
