I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
