Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just had sex bonerless
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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