Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
