It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
