Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
