You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
