I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
