hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
