His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
