her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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