return my video game
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My vagina is officially offended.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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