Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
