i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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