you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
