Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize