she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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