I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
