you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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