I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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