woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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