This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
