he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
50% drunk capacity currently
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
