weddingsv make me drug and hornr
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
