Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
