You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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