After last night, I could never be a politician.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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