Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
We need to rekindle our bromance
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
