farters have to be the big spoon...
Life is so much better after having sex.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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