I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It's just like the Real World with babies
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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