all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize