If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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