I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize