are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
