Pants 0. Shit 1.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize