Heybabeimwearingurpanties
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Edward fifth and chaser hands
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize