sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
