I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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