im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
