Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
