It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize