I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
