I just made out with a guy for $7.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
