You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
