And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
