you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
