Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
