No more Irish car bombs ever.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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