I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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