I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
