check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
