Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
