is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
