i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
