I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
