I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
