I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
So vagazzling was a success
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
