ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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