Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
