I think scott just propositioned me for sex
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he fucked my hip out of place.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
