he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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