Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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