Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
there was a trapeze. enough said
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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