we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I woke up under a house in Key West
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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