I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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