I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
