My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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