She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
