dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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