You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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