im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
